In Which Our Heroine Temporarily Becomes a Pin-up, Part 1

I've recently gotten married and started a new job and haven't been posting some of the stuff that's been in my head. So there's a bit of a backlog here and you will all have to bear with me. The first thing I'd like to write about is the fun and cage-rattling experience I had courtesy of a friend of mine. One of the things I like best about my friends is that they challenge me to examine my thoughts on both larger and more personal things. The project I recently helped my friend with is a perfect example of this. My friend is a photographer and wants to expand her repetoire to include boudior photography. She needed guinea pigs for an experimental shoot to test this new direction and enlisted the help of several friends. I initially volunteered for the experiment out of a desire to help and support my friend but ended up having a great time and gaining whacked upside the head with some unexpected insights.

My friend asked everyone taking part in the shoot to bring some pin-up type gear. As I've already mentioned, I'm not particularly girly, but make an exception for jewelry and shoes. Naughty undergarments, not so much because I've never really seen the purpose. I bought some of those at H&M a week before the shoot which was a lot more fun than I expected. The three guinea pigs then met at a salon owned by a friend of my photographer friend on the morning of the shoot. I take basic care of my hair and try to ignore it in the hope that it will go away. After my friend's friend was done, my unruly Cousin It hair was harnassed into a riot of curls that wouldn't look out of place on a 1940s/50s pin-up girl. The three of us then went to a very posh hotel nearby where my friend had gotten a room with an attatched sitting room for the shoot. We met a fourth guinea pig there and proceeded to have a great time.

Both the photo shoot and the preparations forced me to think about my body in an aesthetic sense which was a completely new experience. I had always thought that any attempt at looking good, aside from what's necessary to not look like a freak and/or dirty hippie was impractical. Consequently, my version of caring for myself has been to eat right and work out with the hopes of leading a long and healthy life. The fact that I'm not going to win any beauty contests and growing up in a very looks-oriented environment (more on that some other time) has also tipped the scales in favor of going to the gym and wearing boots over primping. To my great surprise, I found that I really enjoyed being girly and thinking about my appearence during this whole experience. Giving my boots to Goodwill or running screaming from the weight room would require a frontal lobotomy. This experience taught me that it's fun and nurturing to myself to have some fun with more girly things and that doing so won't turn me into one of the pod people.

Pink Think, by Lynn Peril

I recently finished reading Pink Think by Lynn Peril. This book discusses how pop culture in the 1940s-early 1970s re-inforced gender stereotypes. Normally, I avoid this kind of thing because I'm not sure how I feel about middle class white women jumping on the "we're oppressed" bandwagon. Women all deal with some form of injustice, but I believe this is compounded by the classist and racist society that we live in. I saw a review of this book on salon.com and I was intrigued instead of drinking my normal hatorade.

The main thing that sets this book apart from similar things I've read is that it's hilarious. There were times I had to restrain myself from howling with laughter on the T (and thereby becoming one of those crazy people on the Orange Line). The author's use of humor and lack of pretention is refreshing as is her use of specific examples (products, books, advertisements) to back up some of her ideas. There was mention throughout the book that the ads/products/advice books/etc that she was discussing did not fit the socio-economic realities of most women's lives. Again, that was refreshing because I'm often really turned off by the fact that this is ignored. Finally, I really enjoyed the section on gender stereotypes aimed at men and boys during this period since these things also negatively impact guys.

This got me thinking about modern-day "pink think" and how it worms its insidious way into women's lives today. The worst morass of it I've encountered as an adult is around my upcoming wedding. There's a billion dollar wedding industry that tries to convince women (even women like me who are old enough to know better) that they need to spend the equivalent of a downpayment on a house on "their special day". Much of the mainstream advise to brides centers around what to buy, how to conform to certain beauty standards, and how to order the people you love around. Unfortunately, most "alternative" advise is similar. The consumption is still there although you might buy 400 rubber bats and paint Elvis mutton-chops on them instead of buying the equivalent number of white roses.

Another insidious bit of "pink think" in media aimed either at brides or women in general is the whole idea that the male partner is like a prop in the whole thing. Not to mention the fact that these weddings are usually between straight couples from the same ethnic group. We're still ending up with more of a traditional wedding than I thought we would, but I think we've managed to avoid much of the insidiousness. The main thing is that we're both too busy with our lives to get caught up in it. If anyone is the 'zilla, it's the man in my life because he's the one who cares a lot more about the little details than I do. We both wanted a great party with no hoopla or gifts and that's pretty much what we're getting. This doesn't mean, though that the phrase "your special day" hasn't gotten really frickin' old...

It's funny how some things turn from mortifyingly awful to screamingly funny given enough time. I've found this to be especially true with embarassing stories. Maybe this isn't the case if they're really awful like being caught in a compromising position with a chicken or pooping in your pants past a certain age. Thankfully I've never done anything nearly this gross so my humiliations are minor considering.. Some of my silly stories follow in the hope that you will share some of yours. I'll remove all details that could identifying you in case the wounds are still fresh.

Story 1: This happened several years ago. It was a long weekend and we were planning to go on a trip. I needed to get some stuff done at work before we left. I went home to eat some dinner and then headed back to work around 10:30. No one was there so I decided it would be ok to blast some death metal while doing my work. A song I really like started playing and I busted out the air guitar. Suddenly, the door opened, and in walked... my boss... I sheepishly dropped the air guitar routine, turned off the metal, and tried to finish up as quickly as I could. Thankfully, my former boss and I had a good relationship so there weren't any adverse consequences.

Story 2: This happened when I was in ninth grade. I was often bored in class and did all kinds of things to entertain myself. I was in biology class, which was taught by the world's most boring woman and thought it would be really funny to invent this other life for her. I enlisted the help of the girl who sat next to me and off we went. I don't remember what we came up with, but I remember that it got exponentially funnier. Our teacher remained unaware of what we were doing until we simultaneously burst out into hysterical laughter. She then came over to us and asked what we were doing. We tried to deny that anything was going on and then.. disaster struck! She saw that I had a note and asked to see it.

I have to briefly interrupt this story to mention something that's important to get the full cringe effect. I grew up in a strict household and would have gotten in lots of trouble for this if my parents found out. I tried to stall her, being fully aware of my imminent doom. She repeated her request. I was sweating bullets and heard the emperor's theme from Starwars in my head. I tried stalling her again, but all that came out of my mouth was a squeaky "No. No M'am". At this point, the entire class burst out laughing. She repeated the request. I began to hope that a hole would open up in the floor or Mothra would swoop in and grab her, but again, all that came out of my mouth was the same squeaky "No M'am. Please M'am". The class began laughing uncontrollably and thankfully, she knew when enough was enough. She tried to go back to teaching the class while I slunk out of the room with the note safely under my shirt. I retreated to the bathroom and ripped it up in hundreds of tiny pieces. I couldn't live this one down for the rest of my sentance in high school, but it's hilarious now.

What are your stories...?

Why am I doing this?

I remember thinking to myself when blogs first came out (I'm dating myself here) that they were a silly thing to do. I've said worse things about botox, twitter, "retro" 80s fashion, and cable, but I don't plan on jumping on those bandwagons anytime soon. What changed my mind about blogs and blogging are all the interesting or silly things that have come into the world as a result of this trend.

I've decided to make my own blog because I'm at this wierd point in my life where it seems like everything is changing. The things that are changing in my life aren't that interesting to anyone outside people that are close to me and we'll save them until we know each other a little better. However, everyone has life-changing events and/or things that rattle their cages. I'm mostly going to stick to those themes, but there will probably be the occasional political rant, recipe, book review, etc.

I guess this is my welcome to the wonderful world of blogging and let's hope some shoulder pads and a mullet aren't next on my list.